Hello. You have reached Jouby's Tools.
This computer holds the things Dawid Joubert builds when nobody is paying him to. Some of them are useful. Some of them exist because a problem was annoying enough to be worth a weekend. All of them are free, and none of them are for sale.
Double-click an icon to find out what it does. Some tools open in a new window of your actual browser. Others have no front door at all: they run in the background for a property business, and their window is simply an explanation.
Thirty-one years of programming, starting at age six on a machine considerably slower than this one. Rather more of it is documented at djoubert.co.uk.
Feed it a gas safety record, an EICR or an EPC and it works out what the document is, who issued it and the day it stops being worth the paper, then files it back into COHO. Every update is human-gated, so nothing changes without you saying so. Built for my own portfolio first, and free to anyone on COHO.
Requires a COHO account: you sign in with your COHO credentials.
Story-point estimation for software teams. Everyone picks a card, everyone turns over at once, and nobody anchors on whoever spoke first. That last part is the entire product.
From DOS-era hardware onwards: a cross-platform first-person shooter in the spirit of Quake, Unreal Tournament and Counter-Strike. Written in Turbo Pascal with an integer-maths 3D engine, because floating point was not on the menu in 1995 and it turns out it still is not needed.
Runs here, in this browser, on a WebAssembly build of DOSBox. The emulator is 2.2 MB and only downloads when you press Run. Click the screen to capture the mouse. WASD moves, the mouse looks, left button fires, right button aims, Space jumps, 1/2/3 change weapon, Tab toggles the HUD. Esc quits.
Dawid's own corner of the web. Thirty-odd years of programming, written down in one place.
The site as it stood in 2005, preserved rather than tidied up. Every table layout is original. Nothing has been quietly modernised.
The 2007 rebuild. Rounder corners, more JavaScript, same person. Also preserved as found.
Dawid's property business: shared housing in London and Cheltenham, owned and managed. Most of the tools on this desktop exist because this company needed them first.
Watches the property CRM for messages staff send to residents, and delivers each one as a proper branded email from the company address. Residents get email; staff never leave the CRM; nobody is asked to check a second inbox.
Internal service. There is nothing to click: it has no interface, which is rather the point.
A Telegram assistant for property staff. Ask it which lockbox opens which door, what the WiFi password is, who supplies the gas, or what still needs doing on site, and it answers from the live CRM instead of from memory.
Internal service, staff only. No public login exists.
Room adverts sink down the listings the moment you stop touching them. This one renews them on a schedule, collects the replies, and nudges a human only when a real person has actually said something.
Internal service. No public interface.
C:\JOUBY>DIR
Volume in drive C is JOUBYS TOOLS
Directory of C:\JOUBY
CERTS.EXE READY Certificate Filing
POKER.EXE COMPILING Pointing Poker
LEPTON.EXE RUNNABLE Lepton
DJOUBERT.HTM READY djoubert.co.uk
DJB2005.HTM READY djoubert.co.uk (2005)
DJB2007.HTM READY djoubert.co.uk (2007)
PSE.HTM READY Pine & Sotherby Estates
RELAY.SYS RESIDENT COHO Message Relay
PSBOT.COM RESIDENT Pine & Sotherby Bot
SRBOT.COM RESIDENT SpareRoom Bot
10 file(s)
6 ready to run
1 still compiling
3 resident in memory
C:\JOUBY>Loading DOSBox…
js-dos 8.4.1, including the DOSBox WebAssembly cores, is licensed under the GNU General Public License version 2 (DOSBox itself is GPL-2.0-or-later). © Alexander Guryanov and the DOSBox team.
Serving those files to your browser is distribution, so the files are vendored
unmodified from js-dos@8.4.1 on npm, the licence text ships alongside them,
and every corresponding-source link below is pinned to the exact revision that was
compiled, down to the DOSBox engine commit.
Lepton itself is not affected. DOSBox interprets it; interpretation does not make the interpreted program a derivative work.
The emulator also links libzip (© Dieter Baron and Thomas Klausner) under the 3-clause BSD licence, whose second clause requires the notice to travel with binary redistribution. It does.
Silkscreen (© Jason Kottke) and VT323 (© Peter Hull) are used under the SIL Open Font License 1.1, self-hosted so that no third party is told you are here.
Built by Dawid Joubert, on evenings, for the pleasure of it.
This product is not for sale and never has been. Any resemblance to a business is coincidental and mildly alarming.
This computer has no power switch. It is a web page. The button below does nothing, which is the most honest thing on this desktop.